Written by Francie and Lori (I don't have my own blog, but feel the need to vent)
(Bare with us, it's a long one, but needs to be read and written...)
This weekend was a good deed that Francie and I got suckered into. Going to a wedding and escorting 2 very old men. One who is hard of hearing and a back seat driver that would one (or one hundred) up any back seat driver you've ever dealt with I'm sure. And the other old man is dependent on a walker with an unsteady gait, requiring assistance with the walker at times. We will let these nice men remain nameless for now. But here is how it went down. No one wanted to take these men to this wedding because it was 265 miles away. Even though many family members were going. Everyone had a good excuse to not take them, then someone called me (a family member by marriage only) and put me on the spot and asked me to take them. I convinced my sister to go along for moral support. She agreed, although now probably regrets this decision as much as I do. (You're so right, Lori, I don't know how much you owe me right now, but let me tell you, it's a lot!)
It wouldn't have been so bad if all we had to do was transport them to and from events, but when we got to the wedding no one helped us (at all), we felt like hired help (without being paid). We were even sat at a table by ourselves, (just the 4 of us) at the reception. Several people asked us how the drive was, with little winks and understanding smiles. But they didn't make us feel better, just more bitter about the fact that no one was helping us. At one point I felt like I had such a scowl on my face, then it made me laugh, and reminded me of my niece Katya who growls at people. I wanted to growl at people I was so angry. One of the old mans daughter was there too, but did she help out? No, not really at all.
The next day they had a brunch for everyone before heading home. (Which we tried to think of any and every way to get out of, after finding out how the wedding went, even blaming Lori's pregnancy, but then decided to stick it out). When we arrived, my sister and I unloaded the men and asked the one's daughter if there was room at her table, of course there wasn't, she didn't think to save a seat for them. (Actually, there were two seats there next to her, so she probably said no, because then there wouldn't be a place for Lori and me). So again we sat at a table alone the 4 of us. By now furious with the whole situation.
When it was time to leave the daughter of one of the men decided to help us out to the car. (How sweet). She offered to pay for our gas for all our hard work. I politely told her no, not to worry about it. She again insisted and I firmly said no, and then proceeded to tell her how upset I was, and that she best not talk to me right now while I was angry, for fear I may say something I would regret later.
So did we do a good deed? We're not really sure at this point. We did try our best to make it a good experience for the men, but it was awful for us.
-Lori (Francie in blue above)
Okay, so, here's the story from my (Francie's) point of view...
I went to Nikkie's house in Grand Rapids for her birthday and spent the night, then went to bed around 3 a.m. and got up at 7:30 to make my way to Lori's to leave for this super long trip, arriving at home just in time to put my clothes together and take a shower, then headed to Lori's house, pick up these elderly men, and left town at 11 a.m. Didn't really know how long of day this would be...
Miles don't matter too much when it takes 5 or so hours to get somewhere, either way, it was like the never ending story (trip style)!
When Lori said how one of the men (we'll call him "A") was a backseat driver, she was way too nice! "Now, you'll need to turn left here, honey" he'd tell her... (of course, the term "honey" was overdone and said almost at every beginning and end of a sentence, poor Lori), or he'd try to be sly about it and tell the other guy how many more miles we had or where we were going to turn next... (oh, yeah, I almost forgot to tell you, Lori's nickname, besides Honey, was Chauffeur and mine was the Navigator, THE ENTIRE TRIP!!)
Moving one... we stopped about 2 blocks before our hotel to get gas really quick, but they decided to go to the bathroom, taking yet another half hour or so before we were on the road again for two more agonizing minutes.
While at the wedding, we had the men sit down and expected the daughter and son-in-law of one of them to sit with them, but they told us that they'd be sitting a bit closer to the front, instead, so we sat with them for the wedding... (don't worry, it gets better/worse).
I was trying to enjoy myself and ate some cheese and crackers before dinner, when we realized that we all had assigned tables and places to sit. Well, "A" and "B" had sat themselves at table R and Lori and I found that we were to sit at table O, which was fine with us. Apparently, A's daughter was also at table R but decided to help them men over to our table... (apparently there wasn't room). So, as I sat down at our table, Lori turned to me and pointed out that through it all, the only other two people that were supposed to sit at our table weren't there and we were left entertaining these two through dinner. I don't know about you, but for me, when I get mad, I either say something bad, cry, or laugh. Luckily for everyone around me, I laughed and couldn't stop, I was crying so hard because I couldn't stop laughing and could barely breath! (Oh, and this continued the entire dinner every time "A" would do his little throat clearing bubbly/gurgling sound...
There's more... at one point "A" needed to go to the bathroom and so I got his walker for him. He was trying to tell me something and I couldn't hear, and his daughter saw my confused look and came over to help. And help she did, finally... I told her that he needed to go to the bathroom. She said, "oh, well then just take him over to the other side of the barn to the door and there's a bathroom over there." In other words, she expected me to take him, while she did whatever! (Sorry, lady, but I don't do potty breaks and my heart started racing and my palms started sweating with anxiety that I would have to help him in there! And that was just not something I felt I had to do!) So, I turned to "A" and asked him if he heard what she had told me, which I knew he hadn't, so I turned to the daughter and said that "A" didn't hear him, then I strategically moved out of her way, so she could help him and started breathing again, and found Lori as fast as I could!
As Lori mentioned before, I can't count how many people came up to us and ask us how the trip went... by the end of the night, I couldn't talk to anyone and either laughed or gave them a super cheesy two-thumbs up!
We finally headed to the hotel room, after the 20 minute walk to the car with the men (about 15 feet, but as I said before, time trumps distance).
As I write this on the way back home, we continue to hear, bubbly/gurgling sounds along with "is this the tollway" "Are you going to be taking I90?" "Wow, there's a lot of traffic this way" "the navigator's doing a good job" "Oh, now the chauffeur is trying to get into the other lane..." and on and on and on.
Last night, I prayed before I fell asleep, for two things... 1. that someone offered to take these men home with them and 2. that we'd patience.
Unfortunately for us, both prayers/requests/pleads were answered with "no".
I think that I (and Lori too) need to practice that same term. NO!
